Too Many

Are you saying it just for the sake of conversation,
or "Do you really mean it?!"
"My" time in your company is perpetually full of this question;
some silly oddity, some niggling confusion.

This togetherness has demoed me heap of ups and downs,
few being your smile,
most were your frown.

Despite all those not-happenings,
notwithstanding all those bruised feelings,
I never reacted to the uncertainty;
come-at-ability was never there, doubts were in plenty.

But, I don't rue ever for what never happened;
I have a feeling of some great gains.
Out-of-the-blue feelings being the main.

Twenty year from now, in the coming future,
I'll look back and will be a happy looker.

Just like that bond, my writing's full of perplexed words,
meaning nothing, simply implying plain absurd.